I came across a wedding forum recently where a bride was calling out to other sister brides for some advice after a bad experience at a bridal expo that had her walking away feeling disheartened and re-thinking her whole vision of her wedding. This was due to vendors being more expensive than expected and coming across as impersonal. The question she put out to the forum was valid and one that most couples ask themselves at some point in the crazy process of wedding planning. ‘How are couples saving money and making the wedding personal and not just letting the day become a drink fest for guests?’.
We can get so caught up in the whirlwind of weddings and forget the real and important reason and meaning behind why this wedding is happening and that it is meant to be one of fun, laughter and about two people who want to commit to this awesome thing called marriage.
Without a marriage, you are just having a party. A party that will no doubt be amazing because you are throwing it, all your favourite peeps are there drinking, eating, dancing and having fun with you and normally on your shout, BUT it’s just another party with the true reason and meaning becoming lost, because somehow, we get caught up amongst it all, forgetting that we (you two amazing humans who are committing to marriage) are the two most important humans on this day.
You are the ones who get to decide exactly how you want to remember the epic moment when you choose to become partners for life, Mr & Mrs, Husband & Wife, keepers of each other’s heart where you will always be each other’s home.
This is your moment and honestly, it is important to take a step back and have a think about what you want as a couple when you celebrate your moment.
Do you want it to be all about your guests walking away saying ‘best wedding ever’ or ‘best food ever’ or ‘best music ever’, Is this your priority?. Are you the couple who love to dance the night away, so investing in a live amazing band is where you’re happy to spend the budget, or are you a couple of foodies, so spending the dollars on amazing food and wine is more you? Are you the big party people with hundreds of besties surrounding you on your perfect day? Or is a simple intimate celebration more you – kicking back surrounded by a few of your closest peeps, indulging in awesome food and your favourite wine, listening to laid back tunes from an iPod under the stars, or are you somewhere in between? Is finding the perfect celebrant who gets you as a couple your number one goal where you could walk away feeling like your best mate just married you or a photographer who will capture your memories perfectly, is this where you are happy for the larger part of your budget to be spent.
We are all different with our own wants, visions and ideas for how this day will play out, but what you need to work out is what you want as a couple, what is your ‘different’. There is no right and wrong, the only wrong would be the moment you lose how you see your special day being shared and celebrated.
The most awesome thing amongst all of this is that you have complete control, you get to create and bring to life your moment however you choose. You get to make your moment as unique and special as you like because you as a couple should be the only ones who get to have an opinion on how you want it to go. You should not and do not need to worry about anyone else, and if people get annoyed then so be it. Easy to say, but once you are at peace with this notion you will find yourselves more relaxed and having fun.
My number one tip is that you stop the clock, sit down somewhere comfy where it is just the two of you with a favourite drink in hand, and work out what are the important things you want to remember about your epic day. What are the things you value as a couple and are happy to spend money on. What are the things that represent you guys and your story because that is what you are celebrating, that you have found your favourite human who you want to conquer this crazy world we live in side by side, hand in hand, every day until you are grey and old.
Once you work this out you will be able to cut out all the things that will chew up the dollars that are not a necessity, allowing you to focus on those things you see as important to you both, while enjoying the process because those are the things that you are going to love about your day and look back on and remember.
We are all different and value different things, that’s human nature and what keeps the world ticking which is why every marriage is unique and special in its own way. Your day, your moment, ‘Your Marriage’.